“Funny, Hari is lucky at cards, but unlucky at the track.”

“Nothing funny about it; they won’t let him shuffle the horses.”

A business man received a letter from the Insurance Company. Sir, you insured your premises at 11 A.M 2 days ago. The same day the premises burnt down at 4.30 P.M. can you explain the reason for this time-gap?

A Preacher wanted to speak about ‘Liars’ to his congregation.

He said, “How man of you have read the 69th chapter of Matthew ?”

All raised their hands.

The preacher said “You are the people to whom I should preach today. For, there is no 69th Chapter in Matthew. There are only 68 chapters.”

Father : “Why don’t you scold the boy for mimicking me ?”

Mother : “Yes, I did, told him not to act like a fool ?”

Jail bird to inmate : ” My wife will get me out soon. She never lets me finish a sentence. “

” Hello ! Is this the city gas company ?”

” No, this is the Mayor’s office.”

“well, I didn’t miss it very far, did I ?”

Insurance Man: “Do you want all your office equipment insured against theft?”

Boss: “All except the clock, everybody watches it.”

The Witness kept answering questions with  “Well, I think … ”

“Don’t think, ” interrupted the lawyer, Tell us what you know, not what you think. ”

“Well, I’m not a lawyer,” the witness shot back, “I can’t talk without thinking.”

Mr. Little lived in a little house in a little town, and he worked for a very little salary. The neighbours wondered how Mr.Little and the whole Little family could get along on such a small salary. He was asked, “Mr.Little, how do you and Mrs.Little and seven Littles get along on such a little salary?”

He replied, “EveryLittle helps.”

A man stopped at a garage in a small town. “Whenever I do seventy,” he told the mechanic, “there is  knocking in the engine.”

After a lengthy examination of the engine, the mechanic drawled, “I don’t see anything warning, mister. It must e the good Lord warning you.”