“Last week a speck of dust got into my wife’s eye and she had to go the doctor. It cost me ten rupees.”

“Well, that’s nothing. A silk saree got in my wife’s eye and it cost me Rs.2000/-“

A wily bandit was finally captured by the King’s soldiers. The King,a man fond game and riddles, posed this one to the bandit: You make one statement, if you tell the truth, you will be hanged.” The bandit put everything in a finemess with this reply.

“I’m  going to be hanged !”

The doctor was talking to the deceased man’s son. After some consoling talk, the doctor said, Shall I give you the death certificate of your father?”

The son replied, “No need, doctor. The very fact that you treated him is enough.”

“Tell me, why did you park your car here?”, asked the Officer

“Well, there was a sign for vehicles that said, “Fine for parking”.

When Theodore Roosevelt was president of U.S.A a proud father of triplets wrote to him a letter conveying the big news. An ardent advocate of large families, Roosevelt in a moment of generosity,sent the new parent his congratulations  and a lovely cup. He received a graceful acknowledgement in a letter which ended.

“Is this cup mine out right or do I have to win it three times?”

A man went for a brain transplant and was offered the choice of two brains- an architect’s for $500, and a Politician’s for $10,000.

“Does that mean the political brain is much better than the architect’s? asked the man.

“Not exactly.” replied the brain transplant salesman, The politician’s  has never been used.”

An army driver was a chauffeur to a Major who was a notorious wolf.

One day the Major saw a lovely girl. “Turn the car around!” he ordered.

The driver promptly stalled the car. But by the time, he had restarted it, the girl vanished.

“Driver !” said the Major “You’d be a dead loss in emergency!”

“I thought I did pretty well,” the driver replied. That was my girl.”

Two men were talking at a party. “I” said first “only believe half of what people tell me.”

“Why?”

“I’m a lawyer”.

“I believe twice what people tell me,” said the second.

“What are you?”

“I’m a tax – inspector”.

“My poor fellow,” said the old lady, “here is the quarter for you. Goodness gracious, it must be dreadful to be lame, but just think how much worse it would be if you are blind.”

“You’re right, lady,” agreed the beggar, When I was blind, I was always getting counterfeit money.”

One summer evening when Thomas Edison returned home from work, his wife said, “you’ve worked too long, without rest. You must take a vacation.”

“But where shall I go?” he asked.

“Decide where you’d rather be than any where else on the earth better and go there,” was the answer.

“Very well” promised Edison. “I will go tomorrow.”

The next morning he returned to his laboratory.