A boy – scout told his father that he and his two friends helped an old woman to cross a busy street.

The father felt happy and said. “Good, But why three of you for doing that simple Job?”

Boy : “But the old woman refused to cross.”

A lady’s husband was in a hospital for a month following an accident on one of her visits, she leaned over his bed to kiss him. At that moment a nurse walked in, viewed the scene and quickly left, closing the door behind her. Her visit was a long one, and she wondered why they were not interrupted as they usually were. She discovered the answer when she left, On the door was a sign reading. ” Treatment being given, Do not enter.”

He : “My treasure!”

She: “My treasury!”

One angry husband visited his lawyer, loudly demanding a divorce.

“‘Why? asked the solictor.

“She called me a lousy lover !” fumed her husband.

“Well, “I’m not sure that represents sufficient grounds.”

“But how does she know the difference?”

“Is that young lady your wife or sister?”
“Well, she has not yet made up her mind.”

They were standing at the front gate.
Wont you come in and sit down for a moment, George dear ! Mother is out at a meeting and father is upstairs in a bed. He’s got the rheumatism in the legs.
“Both legs?” asked George.
“Yes, both legs.”
“Then I’ll come in !”

The teacher who examined the geometry papers of 10th class called the boy with least marks and said, “Nor, look, when George Washington was your age, he had become a working surveyor.”

Pupil: “And when he has your age, Sir, he had become the president of the United States.”

Three Scotsmen attended church. When the collection plate approached them one of them fell down in a swoon, and the other two carried him out. Thus all three avoided payment.

The leaders of Congo – Kasavubu, Tshombe and Mobutu were talking about the president of the U.S.A, and one of them said,” Kennedy ! What kind of a name of a name is that ?”

The wife is having a baby. The doctor calls downstairs to the husband. “Have you got a chisel ?” then a mallet,corkscrew, pipe – wrench etc. The white faced husband finally asks, “Doc, do you figure out whether it is a boy or a girl ?”

“I don’t know, I can’t get my instrument case open”.