It is in this context, Dr.Johnson said. “You may criticise a carpenter for making a bad chair or a bad table. You need not be a carpenter yourself.”

“Where did you get that Umbrella ?”

“It was a gift from sister.”

“But you don’t have any sisters.”

“But that’s what engraved on the handle.”

A pick pocket gave his girl – friend an expensive gold chain.

“It’s wonderful,” she cried. “It must be worth at least five years.”

Khurschev visited an army training camp. In the parade, he stopped one of the soldiers and asked, “who wrote Anna Karerina”? The solider drew himself up and said nervously “Comrade, I didn’t write it.”

Khurschev called the Army Officer and berated him keeping the soldiers General knowledge at such a low level.

In the evening the Army Officer called on Khurschev. “I’ve talked to the solider, Sir. He has confessed that he wrote Anna Karenina, Sir.”

Teacher:    What is the difference between capital and labour?

Student:      If you lend some money to a professor of Economics, What you lend will                               represent your capital. Getting it back would represent your labour.

“Who is economist ?”

“A man who knows more about the money than the people who have it.”

A factory office maintained a file of marriage and births, of its employees and their children. A Commerce Graduate maintained the file. But he was transferred to another section. The successor could not trace the file. The file was there all right. But he had labelled it. ‘Mergers and dividends’.

The assistant in the Hair- Cutting Saloon bored the customer with his chatter. The customer complained about it to the proprietor said, “Freedom of speech is allowed under the country constitution.”

The customer replied,” It may be all right with the country’s constitution. But it does not agree with my constitution.”

A man was talking about the friend’s effort to stop smoking.

“He doesn’t seem to be able to break the habit,” he said, “He is an invertebrate smoker.”

“You mean inverterate, don’t you ?”

“No invertebrate, no back bone.”

The restaurant cloak room girl was trying to placate an irate customer who claimed that he had lost his hat. “Sir, “ she said, “I’m sure you were empty headed when you came in.”