An old spinster aunt died happily, for somebody told her, that marriages are made in heaven.”

Businessman: “I want my goods to reach each and every married man. What should I do?”
Friend: “Address separate letters to all the husbands and mark them ‘private and confidential’.”

A Preacher was raising donations in his parish. He announced that widows and orphans were not expected to contribute.
Next Sunday, He addressed the congregation. He added, “Never any bloody battle produced so many widows and orphans as did my announcement I”.

All extremely bright men are conceited.”
“Oh! I don’t know. I’m not.”

Chemistry Professor: What is the formula for ‘water’?
Student: HIJKLMNO, Sir
Professor: How’s that?
Student: The other day you told us it is H to O Sir.

A doctor tore off the last part of a book his wife was reading.

The wife angrily asked him why he had done that. The doctor replied,

“Sorry dear, when I saw the title ‘Appendix’,

I thoughtlessly removed it.”

A patient ran away from the operation theatre. Asked the reason said the two doctors came to the operation theatre.
Who is going to do this operation ?” one doctor asked.
“I want to do this. I want some practice, ” the other doctor said. And I ran away.

” Do you mind telling me why you ran away from the operation theatre? asked the  Superintendent.
The patient replied, “Because the nurse said ‘Be brave!
An appendectomy is quite simple.

Sign on Dentist’s Window. “Satisfaction guaranteed or your teeth refunded.”

“Woman, without her man is a savage.”

When this sentence was given to a class to punctuate correctly, it was found that the boys took it one way, the girls another.

Boys: “Woman, without her man, is a savage.”

Girls: “Woman! without her, man is a savage.”