Son: “Father, buy me a drum.”

Father: “I’ll do, do you promise not to disturb me ?”

Son: “Yes, father. I will beat the drum only when you are asleep.”

A small boy went to school for the first day. On return he was asked. “How do you find the school?”

The boy said, “The school is all right, but the teacher doesn’t know anything.”

“How do you know that?”

“She asked me how much is two times two.”

Teacher: “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly, do you say your prayers before eating ?”

Johnny: “No, Madam. We don’t have to. My Mummy is a good cook.”

 

Teacher : “Who is Anne?”

Boy: “Anne is a flat iron, Sir”

Teacher: “What on the earth do you mean?”

Boy: “Well, it  says here in the history book, ‘Henry having disposed of Catherine, pressed his suit with Anne.’

Wife : “Darling, the woman next door has got a coat exactly like mine.”

Husband: “I suppose that’s a hint that you want a new coat.”

Wife: “Well, it would be a quite a lot cheaper than moving to a new house.”

“Haven’t you any more recent books on anatomy?”

Complained the student, “These are at least 10 years old.”

“Look bud,” said the Librarian, there have been no bones added to the human body in the last ten years.”

 

Professor in Geology: The Geologist thinks nothing of a thousand years.

Student: Good God: and I loaned a Geologist Rs 100/- Yesterday.

An economist is a man who can explain tomorrow. What he predicted yesterday, has not happened today.

For a long time, there has been a controversy relating to the authorship of Shakespeare’s plays.

1st Mam: I don’t believe Shakespeare has written all those plays. When I go to heaven, I                         shall tell him so.

2nd Man: Supposing he is not in heaven?

1st Man: Then you tell him.

 

 

 

Bus Conductor : “How old are you?”

Little Boy : “Only Five”

Bus Conductor : “And when will you be six?”

Boy : “As soon as I get down from the bus.”