The Sunday school teacher had asked her class where God lived. One small boy replied, “In our-bath-room.”

Teacher: “Why Jimmy? What makes you say that ?”

Jimmy: “Well, every morning my pop stands in front of the bath-room door and says ‘God are you there!”

A college president was wiling to one of his professors about the inflation of prices. “Everything has gone out of sight” he moaned.

“Calm yourself” soothed the professor. “I know of three things that haven’t gone up.”

“Really?” said the president, open-mouthed in amazement.

“Yes”, replied the professor, “your opinion of me, my opinion of you and the students, opinion of both of us !”  

A School inspector entered a classroom while Scripture lesson was in progress, and decided to ask, the children some questions. Calling on one small boy, he asked, “Who broke down the walls of Jericho?” The boy answered, “Not me, sir,” The inspector turned to the teacher and asked,” Is this the usual  standard in this class?” The teacher replied, “The boy is usually quite honest, and I believe him.”

Leaving the room in disgust, the inspector sought out the head-master and explained what had transpired. The headmaster said, “I’ve known both teacher and boy concerned for several years, and I’m sure that neither of them would do a thing like that.”I suggest that we pay the bills and write the sum off.”

 

 

Boy to girl showing a diamond ring which he has brought for her: “If you don’t think it is real diamond, then I shall go back to the shop and get my Rs.40 back.”

A makeshift temple has been built by a Jawans in a forward area and every evening they used to assemble there for prayers. When  the colonel of the regiment joined them one evening, he was surprised to find an image of Lord Krishna alone on the pedestal without his consort, Radha.

“Where is Radha?” the colonel asked a Jawan.

“She can’t come here, sir, “ the Jawan replied, “It’s a non-family station.”

Three college students were discussing their programme for the night.

“What will we do today ?” asked one.

“I’ve an idea, “ said another, “Let’s toss a coin. If it’s heads, we’ll go to a party. If it’s tails, we’ll go to movie. And if it stands on edge, we’ll study.”

A lawyer was arguing a theft case in court. “Your honour, my client is not guilty. His hand pick up the articles in the house. It is cruel to punish him for what his hand did.”

The judge sensing the Cunning in the argument, said, “All right,  I sentenced his hand to  6 months imprisonment. If he wants to be with his hand or away from it. I have no objection.”

At once the prisoner unscrewed his wooden hand, kept it in the court hall and walked out.

The Speaker winding up a lengthy speech, said, “Speaking is nothing to me. I used to talk in my sleep when I was young.

One of the listeners said,“Now you talk in ours.”

Father boasting to son about hard work, said, “Boy, I started as a attendant in a store when I was young, and after 5 years I became the proprietor.”

Son: “It’s no use, father, now a days they have strictly maintained account   register.”