A young man dined at a posh restaurant but left only a small tip for the waiter. The waiter was disappointed but accepted the tip. He said, Sir, you must be a bachelor.”
The young man’s face glowed. “Amazing. I certainly am,” he said, Can you tell me anything more about me?”
“Yes, sir, “the waiter replied, “your father must also have been a bachelor.”

A forest – ranger was explaining to some people how to cut across a snake bite and draw out the venom with the mouth and spit it out.
“Suppose you can’t reach it with your mouth,” a questioner asked. “Have a friend do it,” replied the ranger.,” “But suppose the snake bites you where you sit down!” “That,” said the ranger, “is when you find out who your real friends are.”

A Foreign tourist was presented with a very elaborate menu card in a very ‘chic’ parisian restaurant. The foreigner who did not know a single word of French, called the waiter, and pointing to the last line on the menu card, said. “I’ll have this.”
“You can’t sir, “ said the waiter, because she is the proprietress.”

A famous psychiatrist was being interviewed by a television interviewer.
“Doctor, how can you tell if a person is really insane?”
“It’s simple. I just ask the sort of questions that any sane person can answer without any difficulty.”
“What type of question! Give me an example.”
“This sort of thing,” replied the psychiatrist. “Captain Cook made three voyages around the world. He died in one of his voyages. Which one was it?”
“But to answer that,” said the interviewer, “You’d need to be good at history.”

Poster on a house read: “A house is built by stones but a home is built with hearts.”

Below was the owner’s name plate: “Dr.Stonehart.”

Visitor     :   Is your master in?

Servant   :   What do you want ?

Visitor     :  It’s about a bill ….

Servant : Sorry, he has left for his village yesterday.

Visitor:  …. I had to pay him.

Servant : “But he returned this morning. Please come in.”

Personal Manager : “For this job we want a responsible man.”

Applicant: “That’s me. Wherever I’ve worked if anything goes wrong,they said I was                                responsible.”

Two men came to a new country and took a room in a hotel. To their surprise, they were attached by mosquitoes, an insect new to them.
They turned out the light and crawled under the sheets. One of them peeped out, just as a firefly in through the window.
“It’s no use, pal!: “they’ve come back with lanterns looking for us!”

“Gentlemen in the red shirt,” said a beggar, “Please give something to a blind  beggar!”

A young boy, the son of a doctorate in astronomy, was playing with a friend. The other boy fell off and injured himself. He said, ” Will your father bandage my legs?” The first one replied, “No, I don’t think so. He is a doctor of heavenly bodies.”